I know i lived for the knife

I've written, I've talked, I've cut, and I've cried
No matter what comes, I'll know I've tried
I'll try harder, but I'll continue to weep
Put the knife to my vein, the cuts will run deep

That cold, hard blade against my soft skin
Won't matter to me that it is a sin
The blood runs thick like the tears in my eye
Over and over I ask myself why

Why has this life been given to me?
I was made to suffer, not to be free
Back to the knife I turn for more
Cut a little deeper and I'll settle the score

I know some force wants me to be dead
I've learned that love just messes with my head
It'll stab me in the back cause now I'm fair game
I've put myself out there, it's always the same

This stabbing would feel better if it weren't to my soul
I try hard to rid it, but pain takes it's toll
Love touches me softly and draws me near again
With a smile on my face, I trust and give in

Somehow this time I swear it's okay
But deep down inside I know there's no way
One more time and I'm finally set free
Somehow getting hurt only happens to me

One single event has crushed my heart
Cannot begin again since there's no place to start
Even if this pain makes me end my life
Deep down I'll know I lived for the knife.

(this was at my most lowest part of life that i now reveal to others,i would appreciate it if u could rate it n write a lil comment....thanks)