So sweet sorrow

So you see the pattern guide the way we've been here twice before
There's so much changing within this head my voice becomes a bore
I resent myself for holding on to something so far gone
But then I'll wander and find myself listening to our song
It's like there's something waiting here ready to be said
Even now I don't know why but babe we've made our bed
I feel I'm digging deeper and I'm trapped within this mess
No I'm not complaining because maybe it's a test
Have you noticed we've have no time even just to speak
The shadow lingers just behind and drains till I run weak
When I used to feel like sh*t I knew you would hold my hand
I now know if I held it tight it would slip out just like sand
There's times when I would grab the phone and go to call your name
But even I'm not as dim to know its not going to be the same
I want to tell you about my day and everything between
But sorry the lines engaged right now maybe you could scream?