There is no point

I'm so sick of this shit,
Everything seems fine for a moment or two,
then its like i'm the only one who don’t fit,
I'm gonna die if I lose my friendship with you,
I hate the way we always fight,
We have had the best friendship I could ever imagine,
But its just not right,
All the sleepless nights when I just sat in pain,
Thinking of all the hurt running through my veins,
I used to hurt myself physically,
But it upset you so I stopped,
But the pain caused tonight with those scissors,
Is nothing compared to the pain of loosing my best friend,
I know I promised I wouldn’t do it again,
I don’t normally break promises,
But all our promises seem to have floated down the drain,
Everything that made our friendship true
its all gone too
I wish it wasn’t like this,
But to you i'm only a memory,
I wish this didn’t have to be a true story
Ive lost my best friend once and for all,
lost one of the best things in my life,
so that’s why I choose to use a knife,
if we cant be friends
theres no point in living this piece of shit life