Defeat

Ooh, I love reading new forms. I have to say, the last verse of this was simply beautiful, the ending especially, what an amazing closing. The first verse seemed a bit forced though, like it was hard for you to fit the syllables or something? And the use of the word "thou" really threw me. Everywhere else you use "you", so it seemed really odd that you just toss it in rather randomly. And doesn't it require a different verb conjugation? Maybe not, it's not a word I use personally so I don't really know. Overall though, great job, I very much enjoyed your work.

Congrats on getting published :)
I hope to do the same..
Goodluck and take care xx

Nice job. Did you get the word "abyss" from me? j/k I like your format. It's almost like a diamonte poem. Def. 5/5

Awesome poem...i love the structure its awesome...and i love the poem itself...is it just me or does it have paul written all over it?...lol...anyways i hope someday we can go to Mars on our redalicious hot air ballon lol... dreams can come true... anyways take care...c-ya

I really really enjoyed this poem! It was awesome, I caught the structure (though I didn't know the name) before you explained it and I must saw it was wonderful! :) Awesome job and I look forward to more!