WAITING FOR MY SIGN

I was waiting for a sign from God to bet,
To tell me if you, I should forget.
Waiting for a sign to tell me what to do,
Because I keep trying to talk to you.
I wish I would listen to your silence,
And embrace my independence.
Oh! How simple it would be,
Granting that...I wasn't me.

I know that there were several signs,
That appeared to be unkind.
Like apparently losing my job,
Causing all those nights that I sobbed.
The disconnection of my cell;
Not hearing your laughter was hell.
THEN, I lost my numbers when I lost that s**pid phone,
And I ransacked...searched for it...all over my home.
But I blindly never was inclined to see,
That maybe God was talking to me.
Maybe God wanted me to stop;
To forget you...I aught!

Why do I feel for you...so attached?
Maybe cuz my heart was snatched.
I don't know why, I refuse to see,
That forgetting you is the way to be.
Proudly, all I will announce is this,
Solely, I continue with this risk.
You're dragging my heart to the deepest hole,
And all this...I ignore to know.

Maybe one day, I will accept,
That I was nothing more than a reject.
But In your eyes, I always FOUGHT to exist,
Ineptly, I became that friend on that hated list.
I wonder if you care to know,
That all these signs scare me so.

So if your silence, I can't concur,
In Him, I will believe no longer.
I know I say this with my mind,
Because these words are so unkind.
Believe me; I only speak with these words,
For at this moment, my heart still hurts.

Clearly, forgetting you would harm me too much,
Knowing truly that my heart you have touched.
So I'll continue to ignore His signs,
Just to cushion this old heart of mine.