Will I ever have him back,
my Hatter,
will he ever truly come back to me?
I see only glimpses of him now,
as I had only had glimpses
of this impostor before me.
This impostor does not see me
he does not notice,
the true, hurting me inside.
He does not care
to know why I pain
or of what I so desperately need to tell,
but have not been able
to find the words for,
for almost three moons.
He does not ask me how I am,
for fright of the answer
he may receive,
for fright that it may truly
be worth discussing,
and feeling for and figuring out.
This is not my Hatter,
this man who sits before me.
He is not the
gentle, kind, sarcastic man
I knew and cared for.
This man in front of me
scares me, provokes me,
and worries my worries thrice over.
Do I dare trust this, this man
whom I know not of?
Do I dare share with him
what is paining me,
crucially, deep in side?
No I shall not.
Because not only
does it pain me
to look at this impostor,
but also to accept the harsh truth that,
"everything always ends in pain".
Which my Hatter told me was not so,
but that this impostor has proved
to my heavy heart and soul.
Shall I hope, to hope again?
Shall I pray to see him again?
And if so, to which religions deity?
Should I pray to all just in case?
Just to see my Hatter once more,
the stranger who's become
more to me than family.
The man who restored my hope,
who inspired my dreams
and lit the flame beneath them.
The man who listened
to all my trials and tribulations.
To every God, Goddess, and High being,
I shall pray to for his safe return.
Then maybe he will come back,
and restore the equilibrium within me,
that has since been destroyed
by the stress within
brought by his sudden departure.
