In the utter silence
of my lost and solitary existence,
i crawl into the small hours
of the melancholy night,
wrap the darkness around me
like a protective shroud
so i don't have to see or feel,
seeking an insomniac's sanctuary
that lies drifting just behind
the wall of sleep,
instead i slip spiral down into
narcosis nightmares,
submerged just below the surface
of angst and desperation,
a conscious unconsciousness,
wide awake, sleeping, haunted,
in that half-way between state,
in the silent sweat
of howling winds
i hear my voice,
faint, yet with
resounding reverberations
thundering in this hollow heart
as I'm falling, falling
through empty space,
praying to wake before
hitting bottom
as i'm
screaming
her name
over
and
over
again.