If only it were Raining

I wish it were raining,
I really do,
Then maybe just maybe,
I wouldn't be standing here.
So blame it on Mother Nature,
Or maybe myself

But either way,
I'm standing here
Staring into this mirror,
Looking down at my wrists
Knife in one hand,
Life in the other.

If it were raining,
I'd be out there.
Lying in the cold grass,
Letting it wash over me,
Instead of my blood.

But I've made out my last day,
Can't take no more.
I just want my knife to cut deeper
Deeper then the words I've heard
Maybe that'll help.

If it were raining,
I'd have a umbrella,
Instead of a knife.
But it's not,
In fact it's a clear kind of night.

So as my last plea,
I want to be buried,
In the rain,
So all my sins, and all your pain
Will be watched away

Because rain is my hope,
My last dispensation,
But it's not raining,
The only thing dripping
Is my blood from the knife.

Most nights I'd stop
Where I am right now,
But tonight is different,
Tonight I don't scream,
I just keep on cutting,
If only it were raining.

My head goes light,
And I feel my legs go numb,
Soon I'll tumble,
Write down to the ground.

This is as far as I've gone,
And as far as I'll ever have to go,
If it were raining,
I might be singing, instead of making no noise,
I'm silent as ever, as I fall to the floor.

If it was raining,
I might be jumping in a puddle,
Instead of lying in one,
Made of my own blood.

Now with my last breath,
My vision long gone,
The last sound I'll ever hear,
In this earthly prison,
Is a rain drop,
Hitting my roof.

No maybe if the rain had come sooner,
I'd still be alive,
Maybe if I'd waited a little while longer,
But no,
I don't think so.

If it were raining,
I'd probably only waited till it were done,
This way,
I died in the rain,