Love and dangerous liaisons without their mask

A night I can never forget.
Happening to me right now.
Something I try to explain but only choke on the words.
A wrong in my life that will never be right.
A fiery burning in my heart which feels as if I'd swallowed my whole world in one.
Not being able to chew.
You laugh in disbelief but I know your heart plumits to the floor like a falling bomb,
Destroying anything within a dangerous distance.

I kept all jealousy closed and released it in every molecule of sweat when I was taken to Heaven.
Through the steam, the steam which made cloud nine a public attraction.
The steam of when our body's combined.
And any anger I felt made me push harder,
And his lust became stronger.

Unclench your fists, stop pacing like you're the star that you are,
Unblock your ears,
You wanted the details!
You wanted the juices of our passionate fling.

You bend down in like you're pain, squeezing out any ounce of noise,
You want my f**king voice out of your head,
You want it to stop resounding through each hating thought of my existence.
But sweetie, my bunny, there's no use screaming at me,
The voices in my head are already bellowing.
My heart feels like it's cutting itself in two,
Cold blooded murder.
Enough pain for the both of us to share.

I don't suppose my hand of red reaching for yours, would be of any use now?
You'd only squeeze it and never let go,
As if a wire was linked between us, I can feel your emotions pulsing through my veins.
I can feel them overflowing whilst I am overwhelmed with aching,
An aching I have never felt before.
I feel your anger, I really do!
I know these lips restrain for speaking too much truth,
But believe me, that same bullet has hit me too!

Now it's my turn to cry, do I deserve forgiveness?
Like a beggar I drop to my knees.
My heart shatters and I mentally slit my wrists in grief.

I look up at my own doings,
And our watery eyes meet for the last time.
One thousand memories of my lost liaison come flooding back,
Flooding my mind, only to haunt me,
Only to drown me in my nightmares.

Even as you close the door,
I still manage to draw back and fight away my tears,
Building up the last feeling of strength I can muster,
Only to shout "don't forget to break my heart on your way out"
Well that's that then isn't it.