Brilliant poem, I'm so sorry
all the best

This was a sad poem, but who's eyes did you write this one in?.. Hmm ok, here's a little tip to help you get better.

There are verses where you had rhymes, and some didn't. Keep it constant. Have some kind of pattern.
Sometimes you had 3 line verses, then 4, and sometimes 5. Try to keep that a pattern as well. That really helps the flow.

As for the meaning of the poem, however you write it, the meaning does not really change. For me, it's always about the meaning, I am not too picky about amount of likes or if there were rhymes.

Very good poem. But so say. I'm very sorry for your loss.

*Clouds n ur Is*