Is it me?

I sit and wonder,
have I messed up everything?
did I make these people hate me,
am I the one to blame,
my friends have left me,
because I'm a depressing person,
but I don't want to be depressed,
but what am I supposed to do,
act like every thing's great?
because it's not,
and I'm tired of acting,
I'm tired of being depressed,
I'm getting sick of everything Iam,
so don't get mad because Iam this way,
I would change if I could but I can't,
unless for some miracle,
I some how get a burst of happiness