Torturous, Blackened Hearts

by midnight♥lullibys   Jan 8, 2006


Silver gates of a spiders weave
Save my love just for you
Thorns of a red rose, bring me to believe,
All love has its heartaches to go through.

Some say to move on with living,
Stop saving my soul for the one
That i cant have no matter my trying
To get him back, i must say, it's not fun.

Torturous, blackened hearts they posses;
To stop us from thriving in our hearts
They must not know how they suppress
My grievance is running off the charts

I've tried to pick the lock on this gate,
And attempted to love another
But the vibe just wasn't their, no fate
These binds just won't break for another...

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by malachy36

    Very nice

  • 18 years ago

    by Void

    Hey, that was a really good poem. My favourite line is:
    Silver gates of a spiders weave
    I thought it was very creative, not to mention the great imagery I got from it. There isn't much I would say to change, as I like it as is, but I thought I'd point out some spelling errors:
    In this line:
    Torturous, blackened hearts they ' possess';

  • 18 years ago

    by master of shadow

    Very effectivly written, you use of vocab and descriptions are very good.

    5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Nici

    Again the descriptive language in this piece is well used and adds to the overall effect.

    Keep writing
    Nici

  • 18 years ago

    by Cari

    Very well written... keep it up!!
    cari

Read All Comments (7)

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