Stream of Conscience (tongue tied)

She looked at him strangely, as if she were seeing him for the first time, or, maybe the light hit his eyes differently, and the shadows somehow softened his face, and everything was so surreally perfect about him and she wished she could let her guard down, but something held it all inside her the whole time, and she could say nothing, and kissing him was like walking through syrup and all these emotions built up inside, and time turned upside down and somehow swirled and slowed like fluffy cottoncandy and she couldn't stand it how could it be real it was just like everysingle tear she's cried never existed and how could God be so amazing and how could she deserve something so wonderful and why is skin so sensual and why couldn't she just allow everything inside to just release and it just all sat at the bottom of her and stayed there bundled up and afraid like a small child afraid of cirumstance, chance, and loss and gorgeous can meet no words, and even kisses are at fault and curse this damn conscience and all its lingering inhibitions open the door and let it all just flip inside out and face rejections because it's so f-ing worth it.