This seasons bloom

If i close my eyes for long enough , and let the tears stream down my face , it almost feels real again. I dream of nights where I couldn't help but smile , nights where you held me in your arms as i fell apart and nights of amazing passion i can never regain.
Like a child , my every action in spite , yet at night i grieve alone wishing i could smell your skin for one last time. The lust you breed , is contagious to me. Close to you no longer, i admire you from a distance , watch your beauty behind bars , whilst every ounce of me yearns.
But don't worry , I'm far too scared to ever cry in front of you again , for every tear unveils yet another weakness in me , another cause for this disgusting outcome.
Only the simplest of words can explain...
Tell me?
Is I adore you enough?
The fact that without you in my life, Ive never felt so crushed and empty?
This aching dream to smell your skin one last time ,
Maybe if i close my eyes for long enough.....