Good Job. But wasnt this supposed to be a monologue???

It is different, has unique thing to it. You can further increase the poem by working on the flow

Woah...excellent poem! It's really unique in the sense that it doesnt appear to be a poem, but you've written it so beautifully that it is. If that makes sense....:S Anywho...take care, and keep writing.
Love rachelxx

Wow..that was very powerful and a very good read. i really enjoyed that. 5/5

thanks for sharing
take care
shannon

Its very powerful and the emtions is clear. . . but, I agree that the flow is very slightly off. . . . Personally i love it, its great and full of feeling and thats the most important thing. . .
Laura
XxX