For Tanja

My head feels cold, Im wandering around
Its gray and dark outside.
Im trying to inhale that smell
of that place where I used to hide.

Im walking through her neighborhood
Feels so familiar.
For a moment I feel one again.
Visions of me and her.

We were friends for one whole year
About ten years ago.
It was the time right before I died
Im not sure if you know.

If you would know how much I miss you
You would think Im mad.
Back then I lied and lied and lied
Because I felt weird and sad.

I desperately wanted to be you
Pretty, smart and cool.
Instead I got caught in a spider web
I felt like a boring fool.

If only I could tell you that
I cry for you at night.
For all that time I threw away
That I kept you out of sight.

I hope that I will find you back
Maybe along the way.
And I will keep going back
To that place where we used to play.