Show Me.

I look around knowing whats going on,
But when i stand up i am more
confused,
Less strong.
With you i don't know what to do,
I'm lost and tired, but I'm not sure
why?
Are you really willing to give me
another undeserved try?
Are you truly saying you'll give it
all up?
The jokes, freedom, all of what you
love?
Do you honestly love me, need me,
want to hold me?
Why am i paranoid?
I cant control myself,
I'm stressed, tired, unable to say
what i mean.
so i pray you see.
i don't know what to do, hows it
suppose to be?
you'll have to show me everything.
***********
I Love You, but i don't know whats real, i cant even tell if I'm able to feel. your the only one who understands, but I'm not even sure if you still love Reese's, or grape punch from the $ store, i don't even know if you still like blue, I'm afraid now, even of you. and with all i have i try, but something pulling at me deep inside, i have no contro. I'm frightened. who do i have to hold? show me, i cant see, hold me, so maybe... i can breath?