...okay, so heres something i wrote the other night...i guess its not really a poem ... its just my thoughts on paper -- it kinda jumps so it may be hard to understand? ...
I look at the two people who care about me most; mom and dad
I see myself tomorrow-different
I wish I wasn't
I wanna be like them
I wanna grow up, fall in love, get married and have two kids
I wanna be normal, the same
I want my kids to be happy-normal
I wanna start over, ignore all my feelings
I DON'T WANT THIS ANYMORE
It hurts too much
I HATE MYSELF NOW
Why me?
I wanna change
I want my mom to be proud of me, of her daughter
I wanna be proud of myself
I don't want this label
I don't know what to do anymore
I don't know how to stop this pain, how to be happy with myself
I know I don't belong
If I wanna change so badly why can't I?
My brain is saying one thing, while my heart is saying another
Society is saying one thing, my parents another
But what do they REALLY think?
How can they still love me?
Look at me.
I'm sorry, I never asked for this
Not once
I wanna be normal
I want mom and dad to be proud
I love them
I wish they knew all of this..
I wish they knew me
But how can they if I don't know who I am?
What have I become?
