W/e

Mike and me were so happy, but i was living a life of secrets. I told the most horrid one, to my boyfriend. It was about liking another male. Mike couldn't stand the fact that John always get his girls. No matter how much Mike loved them... John always got them in the end. I promised mike that it would never happen, that i would only love mike! I forced myself to not even talk to John. Risking my own heart is something that i just couldn't do. At the skate park right after i told mike my unforgettable secret. He started crying. That day i saw a side of mike that i never saw before. The rage that hes hid from me all this time. Breaking his prise possession, his skateboard, just because of me, because i believed in honesty. All i could do was run. Run away. Wishing that all my mistakes would be left behind. Mike still loved me, we didn't break up, because of my foolish heart. I couldn't have been happier. Deep inside i knew that it would end. Grade school relationships never last. Mine wouldn't either. Me and John became friends rather rapidly. Me, forgetting that i made this promise to Mike, i quickly remembered when i answered his phone call. First argument, the one that always hurts the most, the one that disintegrates your life as slowly as it can. The words ring in my brain so quickly that i cant understand what hes saying. I try to concentrate but it just got harder to understand. Breaking the words down, the painful words that brought my life to a halt. The cuss words that came flying into my brain. I thought he loved me, the words that i managed blurt out of my soaked face. Cursing at myself was the only way that i could deal with this. My heart managed to be put together by a simple bandage, one that was put up by my friends, holding my life together. I told them what they wanted to hear. That i was happy, over mike. I knew that it wasn't true. i knew that i could never love a man as much as i loved mike, and i still do. The guilt that i put myself under dragged me down with each step that i took. Pushed me as far as any life could go... Death. I went to the pier were all this chaos started, wishing time would rewind and i could change how things went. Time just went faster. At the pier i stayed, sitting, thinking. "How could i let myself do this, I love Mike, Not John." thinks became a blur as tears filled my eyes. They stopped and my expression turned angry. I spotted a shimmer. Looking over, i picked up a long thin piece of broken glass. I held it up to my wrist replaying the words that i wanted to die, I never wanted love to turn around and kill me. but Love didn't kill me... I did!

~~~~~~~~~story not a poem!