I don't know the reason why...
I try to just let this pass by
But guilt seems to hit me
Harder then i was expecting
I'm just getting rid of the little problems
I just don't want to waste time to solve them
So when the major things go wrong
I'll be ready and I'll be strong
This crosses my mind everyday
It's my way of making things OK
I use to get by without doing it at all
But now I'm just too self-conscious to find anyone to call
But then there's no perfect excuse
And to find one, there is no use...
I do have times when i know people care
But then i feel that nobody is there
I can't tell nobody, they'll walk away...
So i just simply say, yeah I'm OK
I use to cut without feeling any pain
But now starting again, past numbness didn't remain
I cut a star into my hip the other night
And the pain wasn't feeling alright
So maybe that's my body's way...
Of telling me self-mutilation isn't OK
I want to stop, and I'll slowly let go
Because if you never cut then you'll never know
Cutting is like breathing, it's something you do
And it becomes apart of you
You eat everyday because your mind needs food
I cut every-night because i can't handle my mood
It's an addiction that becomes part of life
And you start to get use to using the knife
I need to find a reason on how
To completely get over cutting now!!!
I've made too many people cry
But i barely do even if i try
Maybe i need someone to make me bawl
Until my eyes are red and i can't see at all
Or maybe i need someone to confide
Or maybe someone to be at my side
