I will never be ok

I'm so close to letting go,
Its like I'm already dead,
I cant handle another set back,
Curled up crying in my bed.

But I'm sat here crying alone instead,
Wondering how to end my life,
People say its ok-think positive,
But they don't live my daily strife.

Its a battleship, its a war,
When all I get is being put down,
I'm like a poor child with no food,
Fed up, so low, with a frown.

Putting on another sad song,
Leads me down a cold, horrible place
Ive been hear too many times before,
Its like being hidden behind my face.

Some steady words from a friend,
Can help for just one moment,
But one moment isn't enough,
When my whole life depends on it.

What do I do, I don't know,
When I try my best and I don't succeed,
When I get what I want from others,
But not from the people I need?

I don't think ill ever be ok,
I don't think ill ever mend,
People will just walk past me,
And a smile, I will pretend.

i couldn't finish this all off because i was really upset at the time..ill do part 2 really soon...all my love to you all..xxx