The flow was a little unsteady and the rhyming was kinda cliched but it was still very good....4/5

Thanx guys

I liked it but thought there were a few mistakes. Keep up the good work though. *4/5*

Thanx heaps

I think it has a good flow to it and you got your feelings across very vividly, and actually I don't think that the grammar is all that bad, really, it's just a few spelling mistakes here and there and a few places where there aren't any apostrophes, yet there should be (like 'cant'). And capitalize. But I can tell that you wrote it in a rush because it is so heartfelt and honest. That's why I like it. But it's good to just go over it a few times to it looks better and easier to read. But Good job none the less. Keep it up!