Lonely Spirit 1-17-06

by Amanda Clayburn   Jan 18, 2006


No one told me
I loved you
And why did you stop?
I lay on the cold ground
Rain clouds above me
As I stare at them
All I could think of is you
I pray this will stop
I took my last breath
Can you now see me?
Tears so shattered and torn?
I wake with your body next to me
You're not moving
Touching your face
A dream lay upon me
I kiss the lips of your faith
And you couldn't be awaken
Why cant you move?
It was me who was supposed to die
But now I see your body
Pray-less prays
Forgetful thoughts
Please my love
Hear me
I touch your hands
So cold and no life
Pain pours down from my eyes
I look into your closed dead eyes
Wishing it could only have been me
Suddenly I notice you're really gone
I tell myself don't cry anymore
Can anyone see that you're not breathing?
Misty place
I hide your body against the death bloody carved willow tree
Placing your hands together so they could touch
This one spot not touched nor carved
With a slice of my hand
Blood coming down on my arm
So slowly and peacefully
I take my finger and place the blood onto it
Writing your name on the tree
For those who are lost
I need the light
The light that used to shine upon our face
I kiss your face
And a tear goes down on you
I walked back to school
The bell rings
I'm clashed an always will
You notice the bloody scar
And dried blood on my arm
please don't look at me
I lost him
Sitting at the desk you use to sat
I rub my hand over it
Still feeling your warmth
And how I remember your touch
Put my head down
Resting my body slowly
Smelling your body that once was here
Please people don't fear this
I couldn't have not love no other
That night I couldn't sleep
Hoping you could be formed into a spirit
I cant let you go
I washed the dried blood
I could feel you warmth breath going on my neck
You touching me so smoothly
please Lord put me away!
Your kisses going around my neck
like a snake searching for his maker
I feel you holding me closely
pressing me against your body
As i looked onto the mirror
I see your face
I turned around to see if you were there
But nothing to see before my eyes
I collapse onto the floor
Shaking from the lost of you
I know I will never see you
throwing up in the toilet
blood coming out of my nose
I need to talk to you
If I could only hold on
I stand up
And brushing away the tears
The blood gone and vomit
I rest my body on my bed
Where you last slept on
Still feeling your presents
Knowing you're watching over me

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