New years

Drink away the pain
swollow all my pride
express my deepest secrets
i promised to always hide

tears clearly shown
overwhelming with hurt
emotions collide
releasing in a different spurt

people around me
i wanted to run a mile
surrounded by anguish
no room for a smile

the depth of the cries
from deep within
physical sickness
it wont stop , Ive tried

drinking a little bit more
i stumble a bit
feeling numb
i erases all the shit

bright lights flashing
hearts being crushed
feelings of suicide
every things being rushed

don't no what i want
cant explain my pain
i don't want to try I'm going insane

down goes the Malibu
a few beers and more
my body's giving up
I'm losing the war

opened my hear t
out it was ripped
emotions changed
i did a huge flip

my head now pounding
i cant stand still
Ive hooked up with my mates
people telling me to chill

Ive lost my rep
gained more sorrow
lost my love
i don't wanna see tomorrow

new years beginning
my last resolution broken
i wasn't supposed to live
depression has awoken

i want it all to end
i cant compete any longer
i feel frail
i don't no if I'm any stronger

people around me relying on my advice
i keep giving
and now all i do is slice

slice away my troubles
deeper they go
the red of my life released
scares now show

as i drank away my life
i drank away my mates
don't no if they still like me
people were weird around me at Tate's

theirs not much i can do
i hope they forgive me
i need to make it up to them
if only they could see

all the pain i bare with me
how broken i am inside
a little girl lost in darkness
imperfections i try to hide

tonight i will cry myself to sleep
the new year has begun
but will i make it to the end
i think my race has run

my new resolution
fight the demons away
or end my life
what do you say ?