The cold snow flacks fell on my face as i lay on the grass - in the cold,
Clouds filled the gray, dark sky,
The moon was high and filled the park with a sutal soft light.
I closed my eyes and thought about my life.....
I didnt like what i had seen,
24 years of crying,
18 years of hurting,
7 years of blood.
I remember the first time i cut,
i was 17.
I remember the bright red blood pouring out of my weak arm as i slipped out of countiousness.
I remember being scared.
I opened my eyes and sat up.
Everything was covered in white snow.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a packet.
I had been carring these around with me for a few weeks now.
I planned every last detail of this suicide.
I took out the bottle of wisky from my bag.
I ran my finger over the foil of the packet, i pushed the back of the packet - the foil broke.
A little pill feel into my hand.
I sat there in the cold for a few miniuts and realised that this was it.
I took that pill and repeted with many more.
My body became paralised and i slipped into a deep sleep.
The only difference with this sleep was that i never woke up.
