Comments : Last moments

  • 18 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    I liked the rhyming of the last line of every stanza, and I thought the imagery was very strong throughout the poem. Another good, short poem.

  • 18 years ago

    by Laura

    I really liked this read. It flowed nicely and undisturbed.

    Just one suggestion...

    I realize there's nowhere to turn
    I only wish to be home.
    I pray for my lord,
    Not to let my soul roam.
    I have accepted the fact that the end is near
    The use of I is very repetitive.

    you could always try something like...

    I realize there's nowhere to turn
    Only wishing to be home.
    As I pray for my lord,
    Not to let my soul roam.
    I have accepted the fact that the end is near

    Jus a few suggestions I am sure you could come up with more.
    Other than that I loved the write. It was a touching read! 5/5