The attention i Never got

The only thing thats worse than my broken heart
Is all the memories i look at that tore it all apart.

I look back at my past and the most painful thing i see
Is that my heart got dismantled all because of me.

I felt so alone so i became attention seeking
But i didn't see it then that the pain through my eyes was leaking.

I could feel it at night when i sat down and bled
Everyones painful words controlling thoughts in my head.

For the attention that i wanted the kind my soul would crave
And every time i didn't get it my heart was forced to cave.

I slowly became invisible unnoticed in my loving home
Forced to hang on b ut dying on my own.

I could feel it taking over me id act out in despair
I would cry scream bleed and slowly rip out my hair.

I still came unnoticed unloved and nothing more
Still attention seeking but things were worse then ever before.

I would cut and watch it bleed to relieve the uncontrollable pain
But i could still feel the sickness flowing throughout my vein.

So then i turned to drugs to hide the pain within my eye
So i could be carefree and my soul would no longer cry.

So my tears would stop their fall and my heart would finally meet
And id finally feel strong enough to stand on my two feet.

For all the times of defeat and every battle fought
Everything was for attention the attention i NEVER got!!