I wish you knew

I wish i could tell you all the secrets from within,
what i have seen... where i have been...
what my eyes cant tell you just by looking
how i think about practically everything,
how my life was... and how it is today...
how everyday i pretend that I'm OK...
how i feel when you look at me...
how in odd ways... you help me see...
how I'm afraid sometimes to even talk to you...
how i go crazy in my room, deciding what to do...
you don't know... how much i freaking care about you...
you don't know all the things i would do...
you don't know how much i care...
how much i wish you were always right there...
how all i really ever wanted was a true friend...
someone to be there with me till the end...
someone to talk to when i feel no one cares...
someone to walk with when people walk in pairs...
someone to talk with about nothing at all...
someone who will catch me when i fall
i just wish i could count on you to be there for me...
i just wish... one time... you could see me...
is it so hard... to look into my eyes...
go through the layers... all my thick lies....
is it so hard to dig down deep...
why is it so hard for me to make that leap...
why cant i open up to you...
i push you away...
every time you do...
its like deep down i don't want you to know...
maybe because i think if you knew... you would go...