Missing Him

I smile as tears start seeping through
It's been too long since I held you
And finally this smile has broken
To Reveal what I'm hiding from the world

Three weeks has passed since you were in my arms
And as the mist starts to fade
I am reminded of just how much it hurt
I see clearly now, that happiness will never be a reality

And I feel so cold tonight as the darkness sets in
Not even stars fill the sky
No glimmer of hope
None at all

Acting as happy as I can to hide the pain
Showing weakness not an option
I don't want to let them down again
I don't want them to see me like this again

I've hurt them too much before
I don't know how they would react
What would they do if I showed them again
Would it be a phsyciatrist this time?

I don't want this pain to leave
I want it to stay
I want this security
In pain I find comfort