From my Eyes

I look at my body,
and a dark image is all I see.
The image is this horrid monster,
which is all that's left of me.

In my dreams I've become bulimic,
eating, then losing it to get the guys.
In my waking world I am anorexic,
eating only to re-enforce the lies.

My mirror haunts me always,
with visions of my enemy.
The sad little girl I hide from them,
knowing full well she is really me.

It's easier to hide than show,
the tears welling in my eyes.
It's not something people need to know,
They wouldn't understand wanting to die.

It's a great blessing people say,
to be able to live each day.
They can't see my blessing's different,
It would be to be able to die today.

I slit my wrist, it deserves to bleed,
I watch it drip with a sick sense of glee.
Dripping away depression, anger and self-harm,
accumulating scars, now forever a part of me.

People point and judge and stare,
at the dark circles under my eyes.
Resulting from the demons keeping me awake,
marks make-up fails to disguise.

My counselor asks if I'm alright,
and of course I say I am fine.
Really I wonder of I will live through the night.
If I'm talking to her for the final time.

I wake and I walk and live,
without truly living at all.
I just keep on continuing to be,
this lifeless soulless doll.

I look at my body,
and a dark image is all I can see.
The image is this horrid monster
which is all that is left of me.

Well this poem deserves a lot of explaining. I wrote it during my darkest hours in life, during the summer when I fell into the darkest abyss of life, and somehow I am back again. I posted this poem to help me cope with the past, and to let you all know that I have been there, and you're not alone, OK? I really have been there, and it is possible to get out again. For better or worse I am living breathing proof. I love you all bunches.

-Tainted Mikochan