I see her

I see her

I fell
And fell
And fell
And fell.
Soon I found myself in hell.

My dignity stripped from me
Like my hopes and trust,
My patience instantly torn to shreds,
My body left to rust.

I know
I know
I know
I know,
I mistook a situation,
But I payed for my mistakes,
My skin, their compensation
Yes, my mind still flashes back to her
June; met with that stare,
Winters rain dried away,
Still that look was there.

Every movement captured by her glance,
Unforgiving eyes never giving me my chance,
My chance to live
To progress,
To be,
Never unwatched; She stared at me.

Every slip-up noted in her disparaging mind
Recorded in her mental log and never left behind
Every move Reported and Ridiculed each time,
Each returned glimpse declared as if I committed a crime.

Her judging gaze at me every day,
Constantly questioning my every turn,
She was always there to watch my life,
To watch me plunge
And plunge
And burn.

Now it is clear,
Words rarely offend,
But stares cause pain,

In eyes looking at me,
I see hers
I see her destruction once again.

*** A few months ago I thought someone was staring at me and wondered why I cared. I took it back to the times between June 2003 and May 2005 where this girl stared at me. I still fell like I am being judged when someone stares, like they are planning an attack. I even left my dance concert because people were looking at me and I felt too stressed. It is like the girl who tormented me for so long is still impacting on my life in a way and I hate this. ***

3rd January 2006