Your False Promise

by Holli   Jan 27, 2006


You said,
No...
You promised you weren't ever going to leave me then you hand me some stupid story and take off.

Numb and cold. I'm sorry. I wasted time...
Time that wasn't mine.

But strange thing is, I wouldn't give it back even if I could. Those moments were special but obviously not good enough for you.

Engagment lost among other things. Losing hope...
Losing blood...
Lost in you...
In the memories.

As I lay,
still loving you so very dearly, my depression speaks to me.

Goodbye to happiness, for my heart has been raped once again.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by The Wingless

    This poem shows wonderful potential. It is really good, but at the same time -Just being honest (not trying to be mean) - It could use some work. The content, the length, the meaning and the overusage of [...] and the format.

    Anyways, this is a good start, I honestly like it.

    You can solve two problems at once though.

    If you change the ....
    To a new line each time you do it that can solve the overusage of it and solve the formatting problem, the poem will look a lot nicer.
    And for the content, only you can do that, you have to look deep inside yourself and see what you can add to the poem.

    I'm sorry if this was a little mean, but I found it to be the only way I could help you.

    Please keep up the good work, and please don't be discouraged by this comment.

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