A year has passed
Since you said goodbye
And still at night
I just cry
So many questions
Run through my head
So many things
I should've said
Like,
I love you,
And I always will.
I need you,
I see you and my empty heart fills.
I'll always want you
By my side
But now
All I ask
Is why?
Why, on that cold dark night
Did you take your life
Did you not say you loved me?
You needed me?
And you'd alway be here?
You lied.
And your soul disappeared.
Forever I'm lost
In this circle I'm bound
For awhile,
I thought I was found
But it was a trick,
A hoax,
Another dead end.
How could you abandon me?
When you said you were my friend?
Why couldn't I be enough
To keep you hanging on
After all the good times
Over which we'd grown so fond
Did you lie?
All those years?
All those times
You said there were no good byes
All those times
You said you'd be here
I look over my shoulder
And I'm alone
I sit around
Just waiting for the phone
Just to ring
For you to call
But in the back of my mind
I know you've left me behind
You've walked your own road
You've left me with my mind
Locked up, written in code
And I blame myself
I know it's my fault
I'm the soul reason why
My heart's lost in a vault
And I grieve
Not for myself
But for you
And all those things
You can't ever do
Because I love you
Even after a year has passed.
I wish I could see you one last time
I wish I could have a proper chance
Just to say goodbye
And I think about all the things
I would say
As you slowly slip away
But only one things
Comes to my mind
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry
For your family's irreplaceable grief
I'm sorry
For the things you'll never see.
I'm sorry
For the friend you lost in me
When I went away
For all those days
But you left me too
A year ago
Your life was through.
**work in progress, written in honor of the one year anniversary of Matt's death. RIP**
