What was i thinking?

What was i thinking?
why was i curious about how it would feel to cut my wrist.
now i am regreting i ever picked up that razor, as i sit here and think of how stupid of me for putting my self in this pain ..
it may have released the pain deep with in but now my arm hurts like hell and im sorry i ever was curious...
now what am i gonna tell freddie i cant lie to him about it. i cant say i havent done it because i have .. and what will he think of me will he still love me ? will he think i was atempting death because that wasnt my intention ... i feel so dumb for even trying it.
and if freddie thought i was losing my mind would he still love me would he stay with me even tho it was my first time and last time..
god plz forgive me i didnt mean to do it i just wanted to see what it would feel like how would it effect me would it have ne effect at all