This is interesting.First, I love the emotion you have captured-so full of sadness, alienation, you express it so strongly and we have all felt this at some time in our lives.Though the rhyme scheme is a bit patchy, as a whole the flow of the peice isn't bad(I like the half rhyme of 'paper' and 'hate her' in the first stanza-that's excellent and unexpected).The images you use are good.It could use a bit of tightening up here and there, the last stanza in particular seems to need something....But for the pure emotional content, imagery, and what you are conveying to the reader, I have to give it a5.You write well beyond your years.This is quite touching.

Really anjoyed reading this
I can understand and relate in some way
well done 5/5
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Wow this is really good. It's very sad also. But the flow was good & It really helped to bring out the emotions. Great job on this! 5/5**