My brother is mean,
Like most brothers are.
But mine is different.
He's not someone I can fight back with.
He's not someone I can talk back to.
I'm too scared.
Scared of him.
Scared that if I do,
He will smack me even harder.
All the secrets,
All the bruises,
All the cuts,
All the pain.
Maybe all that just isn't worth living.
I have to try and hide all those bruises that he gave me,
Just so no one would ask how I got them.
I can't take the embarrassment,
Of him punching, hitting, or kicking me,
Even when my friends are over.
I try to hold back the tears,
But I quickly leave the room,
And let all my emotions out.
I can't take the embarrassment,
Of my friends saying,
Let's get him back.
But I say no.
They ask why.
I just say because,
And quickly change the subject.
They just don't understand,
How much pain he causes me.
Nobody does.
He thinks it's funny to see me cry.
He doesn't even care.
He would probably be happy if I died.
I always think that what if some day,
He gets so bad,
That he would kill me.
That thought gives me the chills.
Well maybe I should just do him a favor,
And do it myself,
So he doesn't have to go through all the trouble.
He physically and verbally abuses me,
For no reason at all.
I haven't done a thing to him.
He hits me if I do something wrong.
He calls me names if I act a little weird.
But I don't understand why.
He does a lot of things wrong,
And everyone makes mistakes.
And everyone has a time,
When they just start acting crazy.
I mean, he's always like that,
And I don't call him any names.
Nothing makes sense.
I pray every night,
Hoping that would make him change.
But so far,
There hasn't been any change at all.
He has been doing this since I was little,
And for some reason along the way,
I just let him control my life.
Every day since I can't even remember,
I cry for hours,
Just because of something he has done.
I always ask myself why.
Why me?
I have so many questions that I could never find answers to.
Why do I have to have him as my brother?
Why is he always like this?
What did I ever do wrong?
All I know is one of us needs help.
I just hate living with fear of my own brother.
Oh why,
Why me?
Somebody please help me,
Oh God, please help!
