Looking into a Crowded Mirror

Rewinding time to when I was first born
Not remembering that first glimpse of light
Or that first breath of fresh air
Not even the first day or night

Growing up in an unstable home
Always in fear
Always left alone
Every night my eyes being accompanied by a single tear

New York City to a nice Little town
Next up this pathetic village
Feeling lost in world I don't know
Feeling alone when I'm so different

A little girl in Elementary
A preteen in Middle school
A teenager in High school
Never feeling wanted

Remembering the bruises
The pain
That loud screams
All so vivid in my memory

I thought school would be my sanctuary
A pretty much all white town
With one little black girl
Doesn't work out to well

Coming home crying
Only to cry more
Never having a safe place to run too
Growing up way to fast

She understands people
Understands the world
She sees everything from every perspective
But no one understands her

She wishes she had a normal childhood
She wishes she never was born
She wishes she never moved
She feels so torn

To protect herself would be like treason now
To protect others is perfect
To let her anger out is foolish
Maybe they should look a little deeper

Fast forward to now
A time where I where a mask to school
A time where people think I'm great
But I'm not great... my lies are

Ever lied so much you don't remember what the truth is?
It all seems so real
I don't know who to believe
Who to trust

I'm so lost in this world
Playing it like a game
Trying to find myself
But its getting harder everyday

I'm looking real hard
Looking in the mirror
There isn't just one person
I'm somewhere in there
Lost in this crowd of lies.