Well it is a topic that can be really powerful, and you seem to have a lot to say about it, but I don't feel the pains of suicide in this poem. I mean, it is a very heavy subject and you are almost being light about it, so I don't feel the poem as much. Please don't be offended, I am not trying to insult you, just giving a suggestion. Best of luck hunni!

-Tainted Mikochan