Hmmm this is an interesting poem. I didn't like it at first, but it kind of grew on me as I kept reading it. It feels like you message, the thing you are trying to say is there, but a bit covered up by you want to rhyme. I don't know if that makes any sense. It is not a bad poem, just remember that not all poems need to rhyme like that. Still a good job.

-Tainted Mikochan