I'll Prove You Wrong (Freestyle Poem)

Yes, I have done it again. I have shown myself that I truly hate......myself. Oh and not only with those petty little cuts on the arms that everyone and there mother has done. Starving in different forms. Depriving my body of oxygen, food, and even happiness. As I sit here I breathe out and somehow I forget to breathe back in. And when the temptation reaches its highest I pull out the oldest tool in the book..... a plastic bag. I'm up to 4 minutes and 27 seconds now. No breathing. You try that. Go ahead try it right now. I doubt you'll get past one of those hours the clock tells me is a minute.

Next up on my menu is my personal favorite..... nothing. I've gone 4 days with this emptiness that devours anything unclean in my body. I still have 3 more. That's right a week. Most can't even go a day but I can go longer. I am better. That's how you do it. You don't lower the amount you eat day by day week by week until you're barely eating anything. You just don't eat. Force yourself into your work, thoughts, and family. Why the only thing I don't keep away from is water. That heavenly liquid that we all use to cleanse ourselves. For now I am the clean one, and the rest of you are only pigs.

Last but certainly not least happiness. But I didn't really deprive myself of that. I had help from every problem you gave me, from every smile I never got, from every time I cried, and every time I died inside. But I can't blame you for all of it. That would be giving you more credit then you deserve. Because you gave me everything I deserved even when I was unclean. When my body and my life were imperfect. But now as I bleed and starve my way into perfection I feel a sense of...... flawlessness. I feel like nothing can stand in my way. I am my own creation.

Most of you will probably look at this as a desperate cry for help that could kill me. A road many have gone down and very few have survived. Well I'm stronger then any of them. I will reach my goal at the end of this road. I will reach perfection. I'll prove you wrong. I'll prove all of you wrong.