Lonely: My Disease

Though one of the many emotions trapped within me, this one seems to be the most prominent.

It came unwelcomed,
unwanted, yet it almost completely consumes me.

This is my disease that seems to be impossibly incurable.
The disease has followed me throughout my life, never seeming to back down from destroying me slowly from the inside.

I am unable to tell when this seemingly incurable emotion started but events in my life have done nothing to help it.

The only 'medicine' keeping me from being swallowed whole is the love and sanity some share with me but this isn't the love I truly want. Parents and friends only stall the disease from getting worse.

I feel the only way to become immune to its grasp is the love of a mate....
a soul mate if you will.

I feel stupid to be so young and to be thinking this way but I long for the attention, the satisfaction that I am someones everything.

I may be obsessive, I maybe immature but I know what I want and how I want to receive it. This thought is what sets off the disease....

I've tried, I've fooled myself, I've caused my heart to break just to get close to having a great love but fell short each and every time.

People tell me "One day." But I fear it may never come. Lonesome......
Forever?

I scream for help when alone but I tell no one and live my days like everything is fine, hiding my disease behind a false smile.

Carry on disease....
If you must.

*I tried, not much of a poem. Tell me what you think cause if it sucks, I'll stop writing poems.*