Uggh.
My stomachs spinning, and it feels
like my whole head shall explode
if I go up there.
The crowds clap quickly, as though they are waiting for me to get this over and done with.
I look over at the steps that will lead me to the blackened ice that would embarass even then the most professional dancers. Many a foot has slipped on the stage.
I take in one deep breath, as my mind screams at me in a language I can not understand. My arms are my crutches, as I prepare myself, and look up to look a the pool of people.
Over a hundred eyes glare at me, as the music becomes a spoilt teenager and wont do what its told.
I swallow my heart for the fourth time that minute. I wish I could do something. Dramatic and bright.
I wish I could be the most confident bird on the branch,
but I cant.
The music starts once again, as I hear the conductor grumble.
I think of cursing him. Spraying him with a dozen spells of words that my mother would faint to.
The beat beats against my skin.
My limbs move with minds of there own.
What am I doing?
I know the ryhym now.. I know the motif.
For weeks I have prayed to the big man upstairs to let me do this.
Hes answered my call.
I spin. Twirl. Pause. Up. Down. My movements flow from down left to centre right.
My bones feel like air.
Im as free as a whisper caught in a secret.
I pause.
Im done.
My applause is one, and the smile spreading from one ear to another represents the longest...
hardest three minutes of my life.
