What is it like? (My true story about depression)

What is it like to endure depression? People who aren't diagnosed can hardly imagine what it's like. It kills the happyness in your every waking moment, and haunts in your every dream.

Think of the top 3 most worst experiences in your life that caused you suffering pain in any way.

Imagine all of them happening in the same day, and that after living through the hard hitting emotional experience, you do it again the next day. Everyday the feel of the experience replays - as though that day becomes your everyday just to torcher you.

Days become weeks; weeks become months as depression interfears more and more with your life. The feel never goes away, because it never weakens. You can\'t even cry or tire it away.

You cry every night and dont even know why. It\'s uncontrolable confusion, sadness, and anger that builds, and before you know it, crying every night becomes your habit.

Because you spend endless hours shedding tears every night, rarely can a real life experience cause you to cry. Your heart hardens. Sometimes you stop caring about the things and the people you loved. Your in too strong. You are bound to a sinking heart. Sometimes it sinks so deep that you wonder if it\'s even there anymore.

And because people caused you this pain in the first place, you isolate yourself in a boundry of lonelyness just to make sure the pain doesn\'t worsen - it\'s the one thing you want to prevent.

As time goes by, depression interfears more and more with your life. You begin to crave anything, anything at all that could divert the mental pain, no matter what that means. You result in ravenous anger and taking it out on people, drugs or alcohol, or even the common self abuse.

A blade for cutting especially becomes an addiction. Your body depends on the relief. Spilling your blood is like spilling the poison from your veins. More and more you desire the relief from the emotional pain
Scars, bruises, even broken bones are soon to follow.

Finally, you cannot take it anymore. You desire the end, then end of all pain. You seek a death - even an aching one. Because as you suffer, the only thing you are thinking is this:

The end of the life means the end of the pain.

..........*....*...................
.......*...*....*.................
................*..................
...............*...................
...*....*......*......*....*....
..*....*........*........*....*..
.*....*........*...........*....*
................*...................
...................*................
.....................*..............