Getting Torn Apart

by Taylor Anderson   Feb 2, 2006


Already feeling half out of life,
Come along with your bleeding wrists
Sympathy can't be given any more
You're too far in your own life
I tell you I'm worried,
You take it with a laugh
Pretend that it's all a game
While I am crushed
Torn apart to the very soul
Crying tears that should not be cried
You continue to drive yourself out of misery
Knives can't save you now
But you push the thought from your mind
Continue to watch as your dream flows free from your wrist
As your lover is destroyed,
And you are in a puddle
This didn't turn out right...

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by HOLLY ARMER

    I like this. It's beautifully written with alot of emotion. Truly heartbreaking.
    I have a couple of suggestions.
    In this line:

    "Pretend that it's all an game"
    It should be Pretend that it's all a game, not an game.

    In this part:
    "Continue to watch as your dream comes flowing freely from your wrist"
    It would sound better if it said 'flowing free from your wrist', rather than flowing freely from your wrist.

    Anyway, just my opinion. Welcome to the club! Take care~Holly

  • 18 years ago

    by The Wingless

    You lazy loser! lol, if you decide to kill me, do it with a gun, not short poems okay? lol, your poems are so good but right in the middle you just decide to cut it short, what is that all about? And yes still I read the authors note, but even so, posting a poem that isn't full could greatly affect your rating by down-voters, they don't care if it is an unfinished poem, without enough content they decide to rate it one anyways.

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