I'm depressed, I'm afraid, I'm insecure, I'm unstable, I'm everything but happy, i feel as if i can't go on. I cry and scream inside for help but i don't open my mouth. i act happy and lie when someone notices somethings wrong. They should know better that I'm not tired, i really have a problem, i just won't tell anyone. Bored out of my mind, i ponder on those bad thoughts that i know i shouldn't think about. my soul dies a little more every day. i ache emotionally and physically but I ignore it so it doesn't bother me until i unleash it in the evening. i know i need help but i deny it so now i believe i don't need help. but I've hurt myself and either way the scars haven't healed and those urges haven't gone away.The ones in my life that i care about can't come to me for help, i try but I'm useless. I try to ignore my feelings so i can help them but sometimes it doesn't work. So i hide my feelings and forget about them completely so i can help the ones i love. yet at night i struggle not to cut myself or take those pills again. Still i tell no one about my struggles, my insecurity, i tell no one about anything! i try but i figure that I'm not worth it and my feelings and my pain isn't important enough because i can handle it. Still those urges come back to me and sometimes i give in but i always fight with my feelings so i don't. But i never forget those urges that haunt me.And still inside i fall apart.
