Comments : Bang Bang

  • 18 years ago

    by Freakfall

    Wow that was weird but still i liked it good job 5/5.
    -Freakfall

  • 17 years ago

    by ASPHYXIATED

    "Bang
    Bang
    I fall dead[,]
    No last words said."

    Etc.
    I think if you add a coma here and so on through the poem where appropriate it would make the flow better.
    It makes "no last words said" much stronger and have more effect.

    I personally don't understand the Ex Oh part of the poem but that just makes it more interesting for me to try figure it out :]

    "Drip Oh
    Drip Ex
    I lose you win,
    this is the end... "

    If this had more rhyme so it would fit in with the flow it wouldve made it flow better at the end.

    I liked this poem because it had few words but alot of emotion and meaning.

    =)