Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
Haven't been sad in a while,
But then it all comes at once.
Still shed a tear now and then,
But haven't broken down in months.

Bottled up emotions,
Being angry takes to much effort.
Want to start a fight with me?
I just block you out and forget it.

Over the holidays i was OK,
I was relaxed and calm.
Now all my problems come back ten fold,
But still no scratches on my arms.

I myself haven't been depressed in two months,
But everyone else's problems are being dumped on me.
It's OK listening and giving advice,
But being everyones best friend isn't easy.

Living their lives for them,
Plus living my own.
Sh-it with mum is still fu-cked up,
For six years this house has not been a home.

Six years to the day yesterday,
That Jason killed himself.
I didn't need to cry,
I couldn't let myself.

Just remember
That to die,
Only proves,
That you really were alive.