Sarah,I understand,believe me,I do.It just hurts to see how much you like each other,but i'm the restraint that's holding you apart.And I don't want this friendship to end,it's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time.I finally had someone to talk to,and now I feel like i'm losing it.I feel like everything's coming apart.My life,everything.I want so bad to just scream and let it all out!!But I can't,I hold it in and can't let it out,no matter how hard I try,and losing this friendship would kill me,literally.Like you always say,i'll die of a heart attack from stress.And your probably right too.I love you a lot and you mean more to me than Zac did,and just as much as family.And you know that my family is my top priority in life.Before sports,school,anything.I don't want this to end.I would die!!And as much as it hurts,if you two want to be together,go ahead.I can't stop what 'll happen eventually.Please don't shove me away and forget about me!!I want to be there for you and you here for me.I feel like crap all the time too.Oh well,i'll ttyl about it.I love you and we need to get together soon!!How about Sunday?I have Solo and Ensemble Saturday,all day,yeah.I love you,your my b****,my Babydoll.

ashlei