All Apologies

I try to sit and make myself calm
My eyes are bloodshot, and my face is numb
The anger has set in like a burning wall.
I become abusive and everything I do seems so wrong
The alcohol is my solution, to what I feel is wrong,
How many cigarettes before my nerves will calm?
A problem so little yet it is a mile long
I have bottled it up and tried to run,
Now I am waiting as the blood fills the sink
How much longer do I have to listen to my heart weep?
A thousand of lost loves and even more broken hearts
Leads me to a night when I hit my love.
A blur I never thought would come true
Hurt leaves me wondering what should I do?
I pray to God hoping I will fix this mess
My girlfriend thinks I will be something less.
I want to prove that I can show them wrong
Love forgive me I know I have done wrong.
The rage built up and the trigger clicked
I am sorry because you're the target my bullet hit.
I have hurt, they did too
They left me with a leak I could not fix.
I try to hold on and live my life like all the rest
Something I could never do because I am not the best.
I wished I could end my life for all of you
I am having a baby so I will start something new.
If I were to die or leave, I would not see my son fall on his knees
I could not hear him say Mommy please.
I stay for my loved ones because they would be lost without me
Sorry everyone just please forgive me.
Love I am sorry for what I have done
I swear it was not me that done the wrong.
The demons possessed me to hurt my love
God help me make love strong.