Dad?

The one thing that annoys me
That all my friends seem to say
Is how much they love their dads
And wouldn't want them to go away.
They always brag
About being "Daddy's Little Girl"
And how their dads
Are always a part of their world.
For so long I wished in my heart
That I could say the same
But knowing you
God only knows when you'll change.
Around you I try to seem tough
Even when you yell at me and make me cry
I try to hide these burning tears
That never seem to stop falling from my eyes.
I've done all I could
To make you think I'm perfect
But my head full of dreams and goals
And my heart filled with love you wreck.
I felt so hurt, so sad
That you weren't there
Whenever I'd do something incredible
You never seemed to care.
I've gotten certificates for being smart
I've gotten the lead role in a play
But whenever I asked if you were proud
All you'd do was turn away.
It makes me sad
And break down in tears
Whenever I think you were never true
Ever after 15 years.
What's wrong with you?
What did I do wrong?
Is hitting me and yelling at me
Make you feel strong?
I don't know what it is
That made you feel or act this way
But just know that in my life
A good thing about you I'll never say!
Sure you may say that
You put a roof over my head
But I'd rather live on the streets
With a father who loves me instead.
I can't wait for you to be gone
I can't wait to be free;
You may be a father
But a dad you'll never be!

*Written: 1-28-06*